This has been a more challenging week for me.
My schedule, again, got crazy busy, which leaves less time than I would like to exercise.
Here’s an honesty moment for you- I’m ready for the contest to be over. It’s not that I want to go back to living the way I did before. I’m not. Trust me- I don’t want to, and I’m about 92% sure my friends and family would notice and start calling me out. Quickly.
For which I am grateful.
But I am ready for it to be over because I’m tired of wondering what the scale says. If this is going to be a permanent change in my life, then what the scale says doesn’t matter.
I co-lead a small group for Midtown Fellowship, and this week we talked about enjoying the journey vs. always trying to be at the destination. My friend Marisa always says “joy in the journey.” But I am a problem-solver, I’m a fixer. So I usually look at situations and say, “Ok, how can I get to the destination here?” instead of just saying, “how can I live this journey well?”
Does that make any sense?
But I want to love the journey. And that is honestly how I am feeling about this healthy lifestyle. This is who I am now, this is how I eat, this is how I exercise. This. Is. Me.
And this is a journey.
I feel like the scale, and even the desire to stand on it, is destination focused. Which isn’t all bad. When I don’t EVER look at the scale, I balloon up like a blowfish. But my heart is so connected to this journey that every time the destination doesn’t seem to be what I want it to be (read: scale.not.changing.as.quickly.), it is discouraging.
I’m a writer. It’s my job. So writing is how I process. Just ask my friends who get 16 paragraph emails. Bless ’em. So this is the first time I have really processed this frustration and really thought about what it means.
What’s funny is just reading back over this post has actually encouraged me. I’m frustrated because I like living a healthy lifestyle more than I like losing weight?
That’s a win.
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