Rescued on an elliptical.

I’ve had a tough week.

Truthfully, the toughest so far.

It’s not that I wanted to quit- that’s not really an option. It’s just that outside influences and inside hurts had my guard down.

Where, in the last 10 weeks, I had learned to say no to desserts, I gave in and had one of the most delicious cupcakes in the world [white chocolate cranberry- can you blame me?] and M&Ms. AT THE SAME MEAL.

I also felt myself falling back into the old pattern of not making space in my day for exercise. It is deeply true that I am really busy right now. A lot of my jobs amp up in April and I have been working 12-14 hours days. Seriously.

But I should still find time. I just should. That’s how healthy Annie wants to live.

So it was just a hard few days.

Until Tuesday night. Tuesday night I set aside specific time, said no to social events, and went to the gym. The first twenty minutes on the elliptical were a nightmare- I just kept thinking, “if I get off now, I can have time to do blah blah blah” fill in the blank with the 100 other things that could have been done during that time.

But my mind is getting stronger. So I didn’t get off. I stayed on the elliptical.

And something changed. Something changed in my heart. Something heavy dropped off. Something old went away. And that thing that had been killing my motivation, killing my vibe, killing my desire to really be a better Annie- suddenly it was gone.

I think days, maybe even weeks, like this could happen again. It’s the way life works. But this is just the first time that this has happened during the competition. It was hard. It was actually awful. But I survived it. I didn’t quit. I ate a cupcake and M&Ms.

But I didn’t quit.

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